Counting for Janu Sirsasana B

Janu Sirsasana B – A Sardonic Guide (20 Movements)

1. Inhale, Jump Through: Alright, let’s go. Jump through with the right foot forward. It’s like trying to leap gracefully while knowing deep down we never quite leave gravity behind.
2. Exhale, Fold: Gently fold over the right leg. Imagine you’re a piece of origami, folding but never quite turning into the intended swan.
3. Inhale, Look Up: Lift your torso, gaze up, and pretend you’re searching the sky for answers to life’s greatest mysteries.
4. Exhale: Ah yes, return to neutral. Isn’t neutrality such a lovely space? No highs, no lows, just perfect balance… or something like that.
5. Inhale, Lift Up: Engage the lower back. Feel the burn. Embrace it like an old fren—okay, maybe a distant acquaintance.
6. Exhale, Jump Back to Chaturanga: Smoothly, gracefully—I mean, hopefully, without crashing onto your mat—jump back.
7. Inhale, Upward-Facing Dog: Open your chest and lift your gaze, pretending you’ve never had a slouchy day in your life.
8. Exhale, Downward-Facing Dog: Transition to Downward-Facing Dog, grounding those heels even if they don’t want to cooperate.
9. Jump Through with Left Foot: Onward to the left side, because symmetry is everything—and inconsistency is a yoga faux pas.
10. Exhale, Fold: Fold over the left leg, and hope you’re still in alignment—physically, not existentially.
11. Inhale, Look Up: Once more, lift the torso. If nothing else, you’re at least getting good at pretending.
12. Exhale: Settle into the pose. Settling is an art, right?
13. Inhale, Lift Up: Rise with intention. Convinced yet? Maybe the neighbors are.
14. Exhale, Jump Back to Chaturanga: Keep the flow—like a river that occasionally gets stuck on a boulder. Elegance is overrated.
15. Inhale, Upward-Facing Dog: Open your heart, or at least your chest. That’s close enough.
16. Exhale, Downward-Facing Dog: Return to Downward-Facing Dog, where you get to examine life from a fresh, upside-down perspective.
17. Inhale, Jump Through: Again with the jumping. Hopefully, you’re growing fond of it.
18. Exhale, Fold: Forward once more with a straight back, defying the temptation to hunch.
19. Inhale, Look Up: Lift your gaze and spine. Perhaps the light at the end of this vinyasa tunnel is insight.
20. Exhale: Conclude with a breath that’s as steady as your resolve to never skip savasana.

For those intensively seeking enlightenment in Janu Sirsasana B—and other poses disguised as simplicity—visit this guide. Because who doesn’t need a little more guidance in their Ashtanga Vinyasa journey?